Guy Ritchie has decided not to ask for a piece of Madonna’s fortune in their divorce settlement. Sources tell the Evening Standard that Guy is not asking for any financial settlement.

Instead, he and Madge have agreed to share custody of their two boys, Rocco, age 8, and David, age 3. Madonna’s daughter Lourdes will stay with her mother. 

The settlement is expected to be announced officially by the end of the month.

Madonna and the Mister, aka Guy Ritchie, have been told to settle their differences in their divorce…now. Madge’s spiritual leader, Rabbi Berg, has concerns that a public hearing may damage the religion’s reputation. Mind you, with all the mud slinging and allegations of adultery and abuse that have been going around, you would think that the couple would want to keep things private, too.

But then again, Logic often seems to take a holiday when it comes to these famous folks….

Guy Ritchie hasn’t wasted much time hooking up with someone else after the official announcement that his marriage to Madonna is well and truly over. The lucky lady is British actress Kelly Reilly, who just happens to be starring in Guy’s new Sherlock Holmes flick.

Now that the news has broken, it looks like the gloves are off for Guy and his soon-to-be-ex. Stories are circulating that Madge was physically abusive to Guy (by slapping and poking him). She also told him that she should have married someone stronger, smarter, and more ambitious. (Like a man with those qualities would have wanted her..)

In the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce, the shots across the bow have already started. First Madge described her soon-to-be-ex as an “emotional retard” to the audience at her concert last week, now Guy has responded back.

Mr. Ritchie has been telling pals that Madonna would rather go to the gym than perform wifely duties and when they did  get together, her mega-toned body just didn’t feel very womanly to him. Instead, he described making love to her like cuddling up to a piece of gristle.

Now I have a perfect excuse not to spend four hours a day at the gym – thanks Madge!

Now that the Madonna-Guy Ritchie divorce has been confirmed, the couple’s friends (who no doubt had their palms crossed with some silver) are blabbing to People about what happened.

It was unraveling throughout the last year,” says a source close to both camps. “They were living separate lives and coming together every now and then for the cameras.”

Adds a Madonna pal: “There had been problems for a while.”

The friends went on to cite the usual “they couldn’t agree on things and lost their connection” stuff. Blah, blah, blah. Could it be that the problem was that Madge is a major egomaniac and that there is only room for one star in her universe, and it better darned well be her?

To everyone who said that the Madonna/Guy Ritchie marriage wouldn’t last (and you know who you are!), you have just been proved right. The couple has released a joint statement confirming that their marriage is kaputs.

Here’s what they released to the Associated Press:

Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after seven-and-a-half years of marriage. They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time.

The soon-to-be-ex Mr. Madonna and Madge haven’t agreed to a settlement, which means that the split may end up costing her plenty.

Guy Ritchie has come out against sugar. Not sure where he is getting his facts, but Mr. Madonna is telling people that this sweet substance is responsible for more deaths than crack cocaine!

Here’s more words of wisdom from Guy:

Think of the calories in sugar. Fat kills more people than anything else. Sugar is responsible for a lot of deaths, arguably more than crack cocaine.

Uh, huh….Normally right now I’d be wondering what Guy has been smoking lately, but I figured his judgment must have been clouded by some type of substance when I found out he had hooked up with Madonna in the first place. As long as he’s not on sugar….