Don’t mind my back

We’re sure someone in rapper Kanye West’s camp got a hold of the performer and slapped him silly over his self-absorbed tirade last night at the MTV Video Music Awards.

He’s “SOOOOO SORRY” for dissing country singer Taylor Swift by interrupting her acceptance speech for Best Female Video, he said on his Web site last night. 

“I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment,” he wrote. “Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade . . . I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down . . . I’m sorry to my friends at MTV . . . I will apologize to Taylor.” 

C’mon, doesn’t Dude sound like he was taken to the woodshed? And still, he disses Taylor Swift’s winning video.

Hours before he posted his apology on his Web site (classy!), West had stormed the stage and wrestled the microphone from the 19-year-old winner: “Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’m a [sic] let you finish, but Beyond had one of the best videos of all time,” he ranted.

Cue boos from the audience.

Beyonce, meanwhile, was in the audience and stunned at the diatribe. Later when B was accepting an award, she brought Taylor onstage so she could give her speech uninterrupted. 

After the rant, Pink was escorted away when she walked over to West to give him a piece of her mind. She tweeted “Kanye west is the biggest piece of s*** on earth. Quote me.”

OK.

Initially, Swift was psyched that the rapper had joined her on stage, she said after the incident. 

“And then I wasn’t so excited anymore after that,” she said. Still, the classy Swift said she holds no ill will toward West and his asshole behavior. But one observer backstage, Neil Armstrong, Jay-Z’s DJ, NOT the astronaut, tweeted that Swift was seen crying backstage with her mom.

But, she got over it with a lil’ help from Beyonce and others.

“I’ve been getting so many text messages and everybody’s been really nice. So I’ve had a really, really fun night. It’s been interesting definitely. It’s definitely been an interesting night.”

Big Brother and I just split up

We’re betting the house that many Glamorati.com readers are huge fans of “Big Brother” so here’s a shocker: Some drama went down Saturday when the show’s producers gave Chima Simone the ol’ heave ho because she failed to conform to BB rules like throwing her microphone in the pool and shit, EW.com reports.

“Chima has been evicted by the producers from the Big Brother house for violating the rules. She will not be part of the show’s jury. Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show,” according to a CBS statement.

Hold it there, pardner, Simone told Examiner.com: ”All of the remaining housemates know I wanted to leave and that is why any conversation concerning me is cut in the live feed because they don’t want America to hear the truth about my voluntary departure.”

Who’s telling the “truth” here? CBS is betting that you will tune in to find out for yourselves.

In the meantime, if you like your TV, shaken not stirred, check out the veddy addictive “Mad Men” Season 3 premiere 10 p.m. Sunday (tonight) on AMC.

Ten human beings

UPDATED Aug. 15: Jon & Kate met up at a park on Friday, looking a bit tense while their children appeared wierded out by the encounter, US Weekly magazine reports. Part of the tension between the two maybe Jon’s selection of a 23-year-old babysitter with whom he purportedly had a sexy night with on Aug. 1, the mag reports. END OF UPDATE

Not only is America privy to the ebb and flow drama that is Jon and Kate Gosselin’s marriage, but now so are police in the Wernersville, Pa. area. Authorities were called Thursday evening to the former couple’s home after the two engaged in a verbal argument, People.com reports. So all of a sudden Chez Gosselin turns into Jon and Kate Plus 8 Plus 8 cops.

When law enforcement arrived, Jon alleges, his estranged wife turned on the tear spigot just for cops. Kate tried to enter the home, but her ex wouldn’t let her past the gate. “She tried to ‘cry it up’ with the cops and it didn’t work,” Jon says. “They said, ‘You have to leave.’ “  

In other J+K+8 news, Daddy will host a pool party in Vegas, cause that’s where in transition ex-hubbos go to find themselves.

It sucks to be Lauren Conrad these days. The star of The Hills is apparently in full meltdown mode after her clothing collection got kicked to the curb by Kitson, a trendy Hollywood boo-tique.

She is also bummed about a feud with Audrina Partridge and a love life that is DOA. Someone should tell the girl that when she is finished with her pity party to get therapy, get religion, just get on with life. She can afford to get help, and there is no reason stay stuck feeling miserable, unless she is collecting points for coming across like a victim.

Zachery Ty Bryan one of the Kids with Three Names that appeared on Home Improvement, has sicked his lawyers on Choice Hotels for allegedly – now get this – “nonconsensual electrocution.” You mean you can consent to being tasered when you stay at Choice?

Here’s the st0ry: Bryan left the hotel to go across the street to get a beverage (Gatorade). When he returned, he was denied access to the room because it wasn’t registered under his name. An argument started, and a manager tasered Bryan in the neck.

Hotel reps have said that Byran became agitated and that alcohol was involved. Anyway, Bryan wants 25K to go away; more than likely he is asking for this amount to recover from the shock of it all.

Image: msn.ca

1. OJ. Simpson

Before he was the man who got away with murder, OJ Simpson was a famous football player. That’s all in the past now. For some reason a jury disregarded such details as DNA and bloody footprints and instead focused on a shrunken glove. Not to worry, OJ screwed up again, and this time the authorities are going to make sure he gets what’s coming to him in his upcoming assault and robbery trial.

2. Wesley Snipes

Blade is about to do some serious time for tax evasion. He received the maximum three year sentence after refusing to pay millions in taxes. Now he has to pay fines, legal fees and spend time behind bars. Sort of makes that whole protest thing not really worth it.

3. Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson’s arrest was especially fun because we learned that not only does he like his liquor, but he’s an anti-Semite too. Apologies and reaching out to community ensued and now Mel loves everyone.

4. Robert Downey, Jr.

Robert Downey, Jr. Should actually be numbers 4, 5 & 6 since he’s been arrested so many times. Each time for drugs. Look at how much fun he was having being arrested.He seems to have learned his lesson this time, it took only how many arrests to get it?

5. Zsa Zsa Gabor

No one arrests Zsa Zsa! Or so she thought before she was arrested for slapping a police officer after being caught driving with an expired license. Poor Zsa Zsa was treated poorly because the jury wasn’t made up of her peers. “It was not my class of people. There was not a producer, a press agent, a director, an actor.”Sucks to be you Zsa Zsa.

6. Tonya Harding

Tonya Harding didn’t make it as a figure skating so she thought she’d try her hand as a career criminal instead and she appears to have found her calling. Besides her arrest for conspiracy after she her ex husband hired someone to kneecap her competition, Tonya’s been arrested for drunk driving and assault. She can sure keep it interesting.

7. Kid Rock

Kid Rock doesn’t play. Get in his face at the Waffle House and he’ll throw down. In fact, Kid’s been arrested a couple of times for fighting. Sounds like time for anger management classes.

8.Matthew McConaughey

In 1999 Matthew McConaughey was arrested for possession of marijuana and resisting arrest. Did I mention the naked bongo playing. Must have been a fun arrest.  Matthew thought so too – see how happy he is in his mug shot?

9. Haley Joel Osment

He may see dead people but too bad Haley Joel Osment can’t see the cops coming. He was arrested for drunk driving and marijuana possession in 2006 after crashing his car. The biggest surprise wasn’t the drinking or drugs but the revelation that Haley Joel drives a Saturn.

10. Pee Wee Herman

Oh what a scandal it was when Pee Wee Hermean was arrested in 1991 after he was caught masturbating in a triple X theater. We’re happy to report Pee Wee bought himself a VCR soon after so he could whack off in the privacy of his own home.

11. 50 Cent

As a teen, Fiddy was a drug dealer and was arrested for selling heroin and crack. As a grown up he was arrested for assault. We’re so glad to see he’s moving on to more mature crimes.

12. Frank Gotti Agnello

Frank “Gotti” Agnello is the son of Victoria Gotti and grandson of John Gotti. Though he was arrested for drug possession, we think the real crime is his haircut. (We realize we’re pushing it with the celebrity thing with this one.)

13. Trey Anastasio

The former Phish frontman was arrested for possessing quite the stash including heroin, percoset and hydrocodone.

14. Daniel Baldwin

Oh those crazy Baldwin brothers, what will they do next? Daniel was arrested in 2007 after stealing his buddy’s SUV. After the police caught up with him they found drugs and paraphernalia. Note to self: When stealing a friend’s car, leave the stash at home.

15. Foxy Brown

Though she was already attending anger management classes, they apparently didn’t take since Foxy was arrested for throwing hair glue at a beauty shop patron and slapping the investigating officer. The first time she was arrested it was for attacking a couple of manicurists. We’re thinking Foxy needs to keep away from hair salons.

16. Glen Campbell

Glen Campbell, why so angry? Could it be because after you were arrested for hit and run you had an aggravated assault charge tacked on for kneeing the arresting officer? It’s tough being a rhinestone cowboy.

17. Jane Fonda

Arrested after a large sash of vitamins were mistaken for drugs, Jane kicked the officer at the scene. All charges were eventually dropped but Jane’s memorable mug shot lives on.

18. Leif Garrett

Leif Garrett doesn’t look like he’s having fun at all, no siree. But then if you’ve been arrested as many times as this fallen teen idol, you might be a little pissed too.  For this particular arrest in 2006, Leif was arrested after trying to get on the subway for free – and being found in possession of heroin.

19. Hugh Grant

You’d look like this too if your girlfriend was Elizabeth Hurley and she was about to find out you were caught with your pants around your ankles and a hooker’s head in your lap.

20. Michael Jackson

Thank goodness Michael Jackson remembered his wig and makeup for this mugshot when he was arrested for a whole slew of child endangerment charges.  We shudder to think of what he’d look like without it.

21. Larry King

Larry King’s deer in the headlights look is caused by him being arrested after passing bad checks. Don’t worry folks, he has a good job now.

22. Bai Ling

We’re not sure if Bai Ling is sad because she was arrested or because she just broke up with her boyfriend, which was the excuse she gave after ripping off batteries from an airport convenience store.

23. Duley Moore

The late comedic actor was arrested in 1994 after beating up his girlfriend. She dropped the charges and married him anyway.

24. Al Pacino

Arrested when he was 21 for carrying a concealed weapon, the charges were later dropped after Pacino explained to the nice officers he needed the gun for an acting part.

25. Mickey Rourke

In 2007, Mickey Rourke was arrested for bad plastic surgery. Ok. That’s not true, but it should be. He was really arrested for driving under the influence.

Don’t try these at home folks.