We're green and we're hot

Just hours after US Weekly magazine announced the shocker that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel split up, Star magazine one ups them with the news that JT has found hisself a new celebrity lady.

Zexy singer Rihanna and JT apparently have the hots for each other, using the celly to communicate all dang day and night.  It all began at an MTV Video music awards partay and continued into RiRi’s bedroom, Star reports. (The two had worked before on her video for “Rehab,” which he co-wrote.)

“Rihanna and Justin have been talking and texting on the phone nonstop since the VMAs,” a source dimes on the pair. But there are still issues on the table, like say that Jessica Biel chick, JT’s woman for the past three years. RiRi wants to be the main attraction in JT’s life, not some sideshow.

Rihanna “asked him on the phone, ‘Are you still with Jessica?’ And he hinted that things were cooling off between them,” a friend said.

And that was apparently enough for Rihanna, who was in deep flirtation mode with Timberlake in the recording studio (where he was helping her work on her upcoming album) and spontaneously gave Dude him a lap dance, yo.

Their chemistry is evident in RiRi’s “Rehab” video starring the two stars and, boy, do they steam things up. Didn’t Jessica see this vid, which was shot last October  in Los Angeles? Writings on the wall, sister …

On second thought …

Jon “hey look at me making out with some hot chick in your favorite magazine” Gosselin is rethinking his divorce with soon-to-be ex-wife Kate. Dude has apparently stopped the divorce process, which was expected to be finished by late November, In Touch Weekly has reported. The tabloid fixture learned that Kate had suffered a breakdown taping a TV pilot this month and “he knew he was responsible for her suffering.” (Awfully big ego, we say.)

Well, Dude did say he “despised” Kate during a Nightline interview on ABC. Oh and he has a propensity of making out with chicks while nearby photographers click away, so OK. Sounds like you might be right about this one, JG.

“He woke up one morning, looked in the mirror and didn’t like the reflection,” Jon’s attorney, Mark Jay Heller, tells In Touch. “He realized he’d made some bad choices.” 

Now we here at Glamorati think it’s a mighty big coinkidink that his sudden doubt comes just one day after TLC, the channel where Jon & Kate Plus 8 appears, announced that the show will now be called Kate Plus 8. Ouchie.

Perhaps it’s the Money Train Jon Gosselin wants to get on.

Don’t mind my back

We’re sure someone in rapper Kanye West’s camp got a hold of the performer and slapped him silly over his self-absorbed tirade last night at the MTV Video Music Awards.

He’s “SOOOOO SORRY” for dissing country singer Taylor Swift by interrupting her acceptance speech for Best Female Video, he said on his Web site last night. 

“I’m in the wrong for going on stage and taking away from her moment,” he wrote. “Beyonce’s video was the best of this decade . . . I’m sorry to my fans if I let you guys down . . . I’m sorry to my friends at MTV . . . I will apologize to Taylor.” 

C’mon, doesn’t Dude sound like he was taken to the woodshed? And still, he disses Taylor Swift’s winning video.

Hours before he posted his apology on his Web site (classy!), West had stormed the stage and wrestled the microphone from the 19-year-old winner: “Yo Taylor, I’m really happy for you, I’m a [sic] let you finish, but Beyond had one of the best videos of all time,” he ranted.

Cue boos from the audience.

Beyonce, meanwhile, was in the audience and stunned at the diatribe. Later when B was accepting an award, she brought Taylor onstage so she could give her speech uninterrupted. 

After the rant, Pink was escorted away when she walked over to West to give him a piece of her mind. She tweeted “Kanye west is the biggest piece of s*** on earth. Quote me.”

OK.

Initially, Swift was psyched that the rapper had joined her on stage, she said after the incident. 

“And then I wasn’t so excited anymore after that,” she said. Still, the classy Swift said she holds no ill will toward West and his asshole behavior. But one observer backstage, Neil Armstrong, Jay-Z’s DJ, NOT the astronaut, tweeted that Swift was seen crying backstage with her mom.

But, she got over it with a lil’ help from Beyonce and others.

“I’ve been getting so many text messages and everybody’s been really nice. So I’ve had a really, really fun night. It’s been interesting definitely. It’s definitely been an interesting night.”

My life rocks

Hunky Eric Dane, his wife Rebecca Gayheart and former beauty queen Kari Ann Penich did NOT have sex, just tons of fun, the third wheel told TMZ.com.

The two-year-old video, taken in Penich’s apartment, is actually the trio pretending to “make a movie,” and how does one play like that? Get the two women in a bathtub where they soak each other up, that’s how! McSteamy — the nickname of Dane’s character on “Grey’s Anatomy — meanwhile pretended to be Steven Spielberg and called “action,” Kari Ann told TMZ.com.

Kari Ann claims the video, stored in her computer, was snatched by her Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab roomie singer Mindy McCready. But media reports say it was the other way around: Peniche stole from McCready, prompting the show to kick her off.

But in Kari Ann’s version of events, she went to the LAPD and filed a police report. Again, that conflicts with previous published reports claiming the tape surfaced during an official investigation of Peniche’s sex-for-hire business.

Like we said last night, this story’s got legs. Stay tuned.

Judge Jessica??

Joe Simpson thinks his daughter Jessica + “American Idol” would be a purrfect matchin a Post-Paula show universe, the N.Y. Post reports. Pops, Jess’ manager and a former minister, has been shopping around the idea for Jessica to replace Paula. We’d watch that. How about you?

Michael Jackson is expected to finally be buried on Aug. 29.

Joe Jackson, father of the late King of Pop Michael Jackson, spilled the beans to the New York Daily News about the Jackson family plan to bury their beloved MJ on what would have been the singer’s 51st birthday. Specifically, the paper reported, at 10 a.m. Aug. 29 in the Forest Lawn Cemetery in Hollywood Hills, Calif. MJ has been residing above ground inside a chillier confine, awaiting the family’s decision. (Jermaine Jackson pushed for a Neverland resting place, but family members weren’t buying it)

On a related MJ note, Joe Jackson expressed support for the LAPD investigation into his son’s death, but had a small concern regarding Dr. Conrad Murray, Michael’s personal physician. Papa Jackson said he hoped law enforcement officials wouldn’t make Murray, “the fall guy for a whole lot of people.”

Vanessa: I heart you Zac... Let's tie the knot!

Maybe they will, maybe they won’t, but just the prospect of it is enough to keep gossipholics hooked – Are High School Musical stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens really going to get hitched? Seriously, we can only imagine the sounds of a gazillion pubescent hearts breaking, if the news were true that Zac, 21, would become Mr. Hudgens. And that’s a big IF. 

“We haven’t set a date and if we did, we’d keep it secret for as long as possible,” Vanessa told the News of the World. “Why? What if one of us was offered a major film part? Then we’d have to postpone our marriage and people would say we’d split up. And we don’t want that.”

Oh my, WE wouldn’t want that.

Whoa, let’s rewind a bit to the 20-year-old’s logic: First comes movies, then comes marriage?

Love. It.

Glamorati begs you, Zanessa, make our year and get thee to a judge or clergyperson … STAT!!

In happier times ...

The TLC network has had it up to here with Jon Gosselin, the Ed Hardy-lovin’ co-star of its reality series hit “Jon & Kate Plus 8.” The channel has essentially prohibited Jon from shilling for designer Ed Hardy, whose wares he wears on the high-rated TV show, Radaronline.com reports. Just last week, the suits began blurring shirt logos and now it’s officially policy.

“TLC feels like they are being used by Jon,” a well-informed source told the Web site.”They want to send him a message loud and clear.” It’s deafening, really.

So now Jon has a crappy relationship with both the Kate-ster AND TLC. Batting a thousand Jonny! Heck, tensions got so out of control for the exes that Dude had to call the cops on wifey. Harsh? Had to? We’re wondering what you think.

Big Brother and I just split up

We’re betting the house that many Glamorati.com readers are huge fans of “Big Brother” so here’s a shocker: Some drama went down Saturday when the show’s producers gave Chima Simone the ol’ heave ho because she failed to conform to BB rules like throwing her microphone in the pool and shit, EW.com reports.

“Chima has been evicted by the producers from the Big Brother house for violating the rules. She will not be part of the show’s jury. Her eviction will be addressed on an upcoming broadcast of the show,” according to a CBS statement.

Hold it there, pardner, Simone told Examiner.com: ”All of the remaining housemates know I wanted to leave and that is why any conversation concerning me is cut in the live feed because they don’t want America to hear the truth about my voluntary departure.”

Who’s telling the “truth” here? CBS is betting that you will tune in to find out for yourselves.

In the meantime, if you like your TV, shaken not stirred, check out the veddy addictive “Mad Men” Season 3 premiere 10 p.m. Sunday (tonight) on AMC.