Demi Moore Uses Leech Therapy

 

Would you let leeches suck your blood as a way to detoxify? Me neither, but Demi Moore has no problems letting the worms have at it.

Said Demi to David Letterman, “

“I was in Austria doing a cleanse and part of the treatment was leech therapy.

“These aren’t just swamp leeches though - we are talking about highly trained medical leeches. These are not some low level scavengers - we’re talking high level blood suckers.”

Come again?

Can some please explain to me how one trains a leech? Do they have a little leech academy where they all put on white coats and undergo an internship? After a few years of graduate leech training they get a diploma which they proudly display in their little holes in the ground?

Do they have training sessions like at PetSmart where everyone brings their pet leeches on a leash and they learn basic commands?

I have news for you Demi, all leeches are swamp leeches. They may be bred in an indoor facility, but it’s the same exact thing. Trained medical leeches? Why are the pretty ones always so dumb.

But wait it gets better…

Apparently Demi went to some random woman’s house and let her apply the leeches there:

“They have a little enzyme that when they are biting down in you it gets released in your blood and generally you bleed for quite a bit - and your health is optimized.

“It detoxifies your blood - I’m feeling very detoxified right now. I did it in some woman’s house laying on her bed. We did a little sampler first, which is in the belly button.

“It crawls in and you feel it bite down on you and you want to go, ‘You bastard.’ Then you relax and work on your Lemaze breathing just to kind of relax.

“You watch it swell up on your blood, watching it get fatter and fatter - then when its super drunk on your blood it just kind of rolls over like it is stumbling out of the bar.”

You first feel worse then you feel better. But I’m going back - I only got 4 leeches and I feel a bit cheated.”

Lordy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Image: PR Photos

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